Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
