is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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