Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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