im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
