woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
