The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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