Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
