youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
