Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
