Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
