You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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