I wish I could teleport
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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