ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think we might need a safe word for this...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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