i dont even know how to be here
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
