Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
