another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
