dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
