Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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