I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
