I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
