Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
