Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
