loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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