Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
