I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
