i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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