Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
