the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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