I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
