Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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