actually, I'm a sock model
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That was before I lit my hair on fire
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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