I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
