please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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