did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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