I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Couch. On fire.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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