I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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