I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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