I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
