Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
