Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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