OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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