A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
