Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
