I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
did i walk over a car last night?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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