Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
