i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
