My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
