Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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