I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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