I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize