i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
