It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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