Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
