Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
