Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He? As in you personified your dick?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
